Blog 4

My biggest motivation is fear: fear of failure, fear of letting someone down, fear of letting myself down.

College sets the stage for the rest of your life. When I was choosing a school, I knew it was very important to make the best choice possible. The biggest limitation on my decision was the cost. I decided relatively quickly that I wanted to go to Coe. I knew with my high school grades and ACT score, I would be admitted into the school. The part that I was worried about was which scholarship I would receive. I knew I didn’t want to have school loans until I was forty. The applications for various scholarships all required writing essays.

During high school, I took an online composition class. I had to write three essays a week. Motivating myself to write these essays was almost impossible. I didn’t have a teacher telling me what to do, which I wasn’t used to. Most of the time, I ended up writing them last minute. When I realized how many essays I would have to write for scholarship applications, I thought to myself, “I am never going to get all these done!”

To motivate myself, I focused on how much money these essays could give me. I started thinking about how many dollars each word was potentially worth. I also thought about how quickly the interest on loans compound and how much more money a student ends up spending if he/she puts off the cost. After considering these things, I was very motivated to finish the essays.

My motivation was a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. The way I want my life to be in ten years was a huge pushing force in my situation. That is tied to the biggest extrinsic motivator: money. I do think it is true that money cannot buy you happiness, but it is impossible to be happy without it. Money funds our survival needs: food, shelter, health care, etc. If you are struggling with any of these crucial issues, it is hard to fully enjoy other things.

This situation is just a surface issue, the real issue is what I expect my life to be. As independent as I try to be, I am greatly influenced by what my family and community expect my life to be. I know that my community expects me to graduate school and get a good job because I graduated valedictorian from my class. At the same time, my mother got married and started a family at a very young age, and neither of my parents went to college. I feel like some people in my community think that I will follow the path of my parents. I know my family wants me to be happy no matter what I do, but they would like me to be financially stable. In order to do that, I need a good job.

Most of my extrinsic motivation comes from the fact I do not want to let my family down. At some level, I want to spite those in my community who think that I won’t finish college. I want to come back to my ten years reunion and be proud of what my life has become. I also want to be financially stable.

My goals for my life are a stronger motivational factor that what anyone else expects me to be. These goals are consciously and subconsciously influenced by external forces. I know what I want my life to be, but society has shaped my personality and values. Still, it is my choice to do the things I do to reach my goals. Even though it is expected of me to do certain things, I have to be the one to physically accomplish the task.

It is a mix of motivational factors the pushes someone towards a goal. At the end of the day, it does not matter how high other peoples expectations are. If a person doesn’t have any internal drive, he/she will accomplish nothing because he/she is the one who has to take action.